Sunny---- Yesterday my life was filled with rain.....

You have given me hope. I thank you. And thanks to Candy who turned me on to the website where I wrote a comment and Sunny found it and called me. She is a big wig at The National Morgellons Organization headed by Randy Wymore who is at least still trying to do research. Sunny is interested in getting the plant to him sometime soon. She is wonderful!! Tomorrow I am going to the local newspaper.

2:00 am the police come into my bedroom---

Seriously, I am awakend from a rare sound sleep. It is the police because I called the county mental health line requesting help. Turns out that Steve O is from Argentina. Interesting don't you think? The younger punk cop keeps being belligerant--so ya want ta hurt yourself--me--no, I want some help. I have a weird plant living on my skin and no one will help me. So I get out of bed and show them the strips of the parts of the plant that come out of my skin that I have hanging on my bookcase in the alcove where my desk is by my kitchen. I tell them I have been to many doctors and no one will help me. The young punk one says oh, I am itching and I say yes you should get out of here. I follow them out the door. They are running like hell. Maybe Steve O can help me and us. Make a noise.

96 Tears

Maybe that is all I can say tonight. Oh no. We live in America, the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave. I hear it every week because I live across from the High School and someone talented or not sings it---way too often. It is so sad to me that the body I am in is so strong and fine and beautiful and because of this plant I cant use it. Not only can I not use it I am afraid that if I give my son a hug he might get it. Tonight I called the mental health hot-line and now I am going to call the suicide hot line --wait right there. Busy night for suicides I guess--or maybe she did not believe me. Ah, well I am doing what I can. And I love all of you who are suffering out there. I pray for all of us.

lonely teardrops----(hi, jess)

A bad day for me today. I know I swore off doctors because in contacting them---tropical medicine docs and labs ---most are not even remotely interested----the mailaway parasitic labs only want to look at your pooh and could care less about your skin. The one doctor who happened to pick up the phone decided that I have pathological dermatitis and should go see another dermatologist . I challenged him, got him curious, sent him a picture of the plant and then I lost it with him in the back and forth e-mailings ending with calling myself a retard and saying DOYOUWANNABESTICKYALLTHETIME? I have a doctor. Why is this doctor not trying to find out what is causing plant material to show up in my skin samples? She saw the goldarn thing. So I put in a call and it was really nice because the receptionist composed a very calm and succinct message. Dr. Bagheri called me the next day--yesterday. Good news--she said she believed me---- that weird stuff was coming out of my skin---- said that my immune system was strong--no aids--no HIV--no cancer--hormones all OK--vitamins goodblahblah--and then gave the analogy that no matter how healthy you are if you are EXPOSED to cholera you are going to get cholera. Bad news---she wanted me to take the celexas she had prescribed because I might be scratching in the night and then the plant material could enter compromised skin. I was so proud of myself because I said--Good theory--and let it ride. What be de point? I cannot take drugs because my body reacts in very unpredictable ways. Old story but a good one. My son is 1and 1/2. I am having trouble losing the last 5 pounds. I take him to play with Marissa ---same age---up the street and Cathy tells me she has been taking diet pills --did I want to try one? OK. I take it, put Alexander down for his nap and immediately fall into a stupor--not my usual thing. I awake with an overwhelming desire to make cookies and then have to eat most of the dough before baking . Not good, pumpkin. My guess is that I would commit suicide if I took that thing. I have been working, I just haven't been writing. On Monday I sent in a "reportapest report" to the State. Complete with picture and a request for direction to a taxonomist, lab, botanist or plant biologist if for some reason the state was unable to identify the plant. Tonight I e-mailed Obama. He is for the underdog therefore he is for me and us. There is someone in the world who knows what this plant is and the remedy. I will find them.

We will not have to suffer much longer

So it be.

Love is all there is

Should I love the plant now? Is that what this is about? Should I give up? Who knows.

them lesions are created by you and...

If you were not so stubborn by thinking that a fungus was living on your skin--a fungus of red wax that produces fibers and hair--you could be helped by a dermatologist who would give you a tranquilizer. Then maybe you would not care if your skin was sticky all the time and when you woke up in the morning you wouldnt care if seed pods came out of your skin or black little sticky things and you feel sick and tired and you cant see and who is giving this to who? Now right now I am changing my tune--No Doctors. My brother is one and he CAN'T help me either. Ah, What the heck--just let me die.

emortas

Yeah, that is the real name or in part. The other is Argenta or maybe that is part of the name for the remedy==notice not the cure. The other is .... not sure. How about the lead nucleopeptide chains? How about Sargassum? How about lichen rubrum. A rose by any other name will still kill you. Any blondes out there? Look and see if you have "hair" growing where you never had hair growing before. On your hand? Between your thumb and forefinger--- you know in the crotch? Hairy finger tops, hairy knees? Golden hair. Around your hairline, the nape of your neck? On men, on their chest? That happens the second year. The first year one is too freaked out by the lesions and being sick to notice much. Do you get scabies or head lice because your immune system is weak? Can your immune system kill head lice? Does your dog get fleas because his immune system is weak? Did you get morgellons because your immune system was weak? Bullshit. Mine didn't look weak last year when I went to UCSF Medical Center and they did a skin biopsy and took 10 tubes of blood to test EVERYTHING. They came up with----you must have a brain tumor because all the other systems are aplusgo. What horseshit. I gave Dr. Berger a perfect seed specimen. He ignored it. Well , you go in there and you are so frigging sick that you cant drive youself there to start with. Then all these heathy beautiful people come in real fast and look at you like you are a specimen. They dont talk to you. They dont ask you any questions except for --"Vitamin A?" . Because when you have the plant you get a waxy coating on you that is composed of red and black fibers in wax and it makes your skin look orange. The world has become smaller and the doctors books need to get bigger.

C'est la vie

So now I can speak French, huh? Where to go ---what to do......Is not there a freeking body out there who knows some one in ARGENTINA? Fungus-----algea-----we all know all that by now!! Please Please Please I got a contact list from the CDC--- the American Society of Tropical Medicine and Hygiene and have been calling, leaving messages, e-mailing and talking to some of them--experts in Tropical medicine. Never heard of that----they say----You are demented. Please see a Psychiatrist--another dermatologist--etc. So if you are a Doctor and you have not heard of "IT" before , it does not exist? I call that the "Pope vs Galileo" complex. Not well received by the medical establishment. Someone in the world knows about the plant. I call them in now.

I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more

True Morgellons is caused by the plant.

Argenta--silver

I ordered colloidal silver last night. We will see what happens . The mud dried up many plants but where the plant is IN--ROOTED IN your skin, the area bleeds. I now have a bloody patch on the nape of my neck as well as my ankles and my wrist and hand--the hand I used to put the mud on my face and head and feet. I think that the roots are still in there and more plants will be made. What? Are we living in the Middle Ages? No one can even call another country where this plant and its remedy are known? So, far no e-mail replies. I spoke with a really nice woman at GARD today. She asked my symptoms from the plant and said it sounded like Morgellons. Then she gave me places to call for information and said, "No, there is no way we can contact anyone in Argentina ".----and maybe I could look up articles in medical journals from South America. All I need is the name from a souviner shop. Without the name of this plant I can't look anything up. Someone out there knows the name. Just put it in comments, OK?

mud, pygmies and goats(mohair?)

.I put alot of Borghese Fango mud all over my face, hairline and neck last night. The mud dries up the waxy stuff and then the plant is really easy to pull off. I can't say that this is killing the source but since a really big plant came off from around my left eye my vision is clear in that eye. It is so weird to have what looks like hair unfurl from your skin and from around your eye. I think copper and silver play a part in the getting rid of this thing. It is so hard to go it alone. A friend of mine gave me some good council---"Just go ahead with what you are doing and don't put any emotional investment into your detractors". I was meditating a month or two ago and asked if anyone knew how to get rid of the plant. I saw a very old pygmy woman healer wrapped in a light brown and cream colored cloth over her head and draped around her body. She said take the leaf of the cacao plant, boil it, put the leaves on your body and drink the tea. Something else needed to be put in the tea but I didn't get what. Just for the record. Her cloth looked like goat skin. Just for the record again. I am pretty sure that this can only be transmitted through the spores which are not abundant at all times of the year. The long weekend is over and tomorrow I will be calling the CDC. Obama was over the top for now anyway. But if necessary I will try again.

Let it bleed

Hey well then what else can you do? Back on track. Tonight I spoke to a rep of the CDC. He was very helpful and so I e-mailed a picture of the plant to the correct department. I expect to hear from them . I sent them a picture--a big clear one--and have in my hot little paw a copy of the pathology report from UC Davis Medical Center. All of us who have this horror are terrified that we will give it to someone else. That be THEIR job. We pay them. We don't have to shuck and bow. It is an organization dedicated, in part, to keeping citizens safe and out of harms way of communicable diseases whatever their origination. I am pretty sure my cat has this too. Did I give it to him? Who knows? This thing is living everywhere here. When I leave my house I am going to take everything with me including the dishwasher. What do you think? Plus they give cash for keyes. No one who has lived here for the last 10 years has ever had a key to any door. Obviously we don't lock the doors. I do have a really big bag of keyes and at one point before I got sick thought I should have at least a key to the front door and spent an hour or two trying them all to no avail. So unless I go to Home Depot, which I can't anyway because the slime producing bacteria that are eating the dead algea get into my eyes and I can't see to drive, and spend about $100.00 I will get no cash for keyes. Now my idea is to put everything into storage and after 6 months or so go back and look to see if the plant has survived. We don't know what will kill it for sure even outside the body. Friends want this or that if I go homeless or die or whatever and no way am I going to give anything to anybody. It would be like giving them the disease. Storage only or burn the whole thing up. In a day or two I will start packing especially the things my kids would like to have. Ah, life. How mysterious. No sense wishing.

All is well...

Thank you so very much Candy. Actually, I am just going to talk to you tonight. Not on the Morgellons issue--I always wanted to be Jewish from when I was a small child. Who would not want to be? ---they are God's Chosen People. It does not take a genius to see that the contributions in the fields of art and science are often made by Jewish people. My own experiences have owned this. Jewish people are not going to make creepy things, the Nazi type people are. I think it is because they are jealous and have been forever. I have been reading "The City of God" by E. L. Doctorow. Interesting. I so honor you because you are investigating the EVIL to help your loved one. What I get over here is alot of disbelief. I will keep on. I e-mailed a reporter for the Fresno Bee as well as the woman Barbara Minton who wrote an awesome synopsis on the Joni Mitchell website. My hands and feet are bleeding tonight. Like I can do anything. Oh, wait I can type. Thank you so much for being there for me.

Court and Spark

Today my sweet darling friend and (step)mother to my two sons gave me a ride to the courthouse in Sacramento so I could surrender my house and absolve all of my debts because I have been too sick to work for way too long. We both cried. I will probably have to be homelss because in good conscience can not live with someone else if I can not find out how ya get this thing. I can't work. I make $1264 a month on disability. If I have to get a shopping cart and go into the street I will last a month or two. I pray to God to take me home tonight.